10 THINGS TO DO IF YOUR PARENTS DON’T APPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

It hurts so much when you finally find the love of your life only to realize that the second most important person in your life (mom or dad, or both!) do not approve of your relationship. It’s downright heartbreaking and especially when you see how much everyone is hurting.

However, don’t conclude that just because your parents don’t approve of the relationship right now means that they will always feel the same way. Sometimes—often times in fact—parents need a little adjustment time.

And all the more so if you have married someone outside of their preferences. Instead of waging a war or disowning your parents completely, why not try to keep things rational and reasonable? Here are 10 things you can do to make amends without caving in and losing the best relationship of your life.

1.      TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE UNHAPPY.

Empathy is the first step towards reconciling. You know that nothing will ever tear you from the arms of your true love. Still, it helps to consider where your parents are coming from. Perhaps one day, you will be able to work through the disagreement and reach a compromise. Start by identifying the source of their frustration. Are your parents angry because you’re living in sin? Are they angry because you’re dating someone of another race, ethnicity or religion? Do they mistrust your partner? Try to understand that at the heart of their rejection is fear. They are afraid that you will be hurt.

2.      LISTEN TO THEIR ADVICE…BUT EXPLAIN THAT YOUR TRUE LOVE IS THE EMBODIMENT OF THEIR ADVICE.

Parents only want children to listen to their advice, their wisdom and knowledge. If you immediately shut them out, they will not feel satisfied. However, by listening and applying what you learn, you show them that you still value their opinion. Of course, they are not going to change your mind. So what you might try is to accept their advice…and then explain how the person you love fits all of their requirements.

3.      SHOW THEM THAT YOU’RE STRONG AND UNWAVERING.

Do not appear weak in their eyes, as if they have any power to turn you against your soul mate. This does not mean being haughty, angry or even argumentative. However, be assertive and speak of your love boldly without apology. Your parents might be afraid that you are not strong enough to handle the pressures of the world. Prove to them that you are determined to make it work.

4.      ALWAYS SHOW RESPECT.

Do not fall into the trap of battling with your parents or taking personal offense. This is a lonely road that leads to unhappiness and lots of regrets. Even if your parents are behaving badly, always take the higher road and show them the respect that a child owes his or her elders. In the end, they will regret their own behavior once they see that you are not lowering yourself to make personal attacks or inflammatory remarks.

5.      SHOW THEM THE RESENTMENT IS NOT COMING FROM YOU.

Always be available to your parents. If they are the ones showing hostility then accept their decision. However, make it clear that whenever they want to communicate with you again, your door is always open. Oftentimes, families lose touch because neither side makes any effort to apologize or come forward with a resolution. By being the stronger one, you can help to rectify the damage done sooner rather than later.

6.      DON’T GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS.

One of the reasons parents become angry with grown children who find a mate is because they feel as if you are going to get married and forget all of your dreams—you know, like they themselves once did. So rather than forget all of your own ambitions on a whim of love, why not try to compromise? Stay with the one you love, but think about finishing college or trying out for your dream career? This is bound to make your parents happy. Once they see that your partner supports you, maybe their opinions will change on him/her too!

7.      TALK ABOUT YOUR MATE’S GOOD QUALITIES.

If they really don’t like your partner that’s probably because they are thinking all sorts of negative thoughts about this person—how he or she is deceiving you, using you, taking you for granted, and so on. Give them something else to think about when you talk. Talk about the kind things your partner does. The little things that make you feel better. It will paint a different imagine in their head, and may help the acceptance process.

8.      NEGOTIATE.

If they still don’t seem to respond to all this positivity, then maybe it’s time to have a heart-to-heart. Ask them what needs to be done—what you or your partner must do to earn their respect. You may be surprised to know that they really DO have an answer, and are not mindlessly hating your partner. For instance, do they wish your partner would be friendlier to them? Do they not like your partner’s career? Do they disapprove of the way you do business or your lifestyle? Maybe things can’t change overnight; but starting a negotiating process is important.

9.      ASK THEM IF THEY ARE UP FOR A RESPECTFUL FAMILY MEETING.

Gauge how unhappy they are by asking them straight out if they are willing to meet and discuss their opinions with you and your partner. Perhaps they are not ready for the task; then again, maybe they will be impressed that your new love is courageous enough to talk to them and air out grievances. You never know until you ask.

10.    BELIEVE IN PEOPLE.

This not only means believing in your parents—believing that they can change and accept you and your partner for life—it also means not giving up on the relationship itself. Believe in your partner and that his or her love for you is real. Believe that someday everyone will be accepting, happy and at peace with the relationship. If you keep believing, maybe you can inspire others!

10 REASONS WHY MEN PULL AWAY FROM RELATIONSHIPS!....FIND OUT ON OUR NEXT POST.

KNOW WHEN THEY ARE LYING

Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power. 

Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person's behavior, and if you pay attention to these behaviors, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not. The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts. 

Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction.

Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you can define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to.

One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or does not movie) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. 

One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided. Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection.

If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. 

Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key.

Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. 

Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual when talking to you, look away a lot and/or say "umm" a lot when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs. 

Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first. If you feel that your partner is lying to you, start paying closer attention to his/her behavior and if there are any changes, then you will be able to catch on to the lies better and can further investigate from that point. Receive Love Advice and Professional Help.

 10 THINGS TO DO IF YOUR PARENTS DON’T APPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.....FIND OUT ON OUR NEXT POST...

EXPECT UPS AND DOWNS

It's also important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship.

 You won't always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstanding can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.

Don't take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at him or her. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other ways to vent your anger and frustration.

Some problems are bigger than both of you. Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in his or her own way. Remember that you're a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.

Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.

Don't ignore problems. Whatever problems arise in a romantic relationship, it's important to face them together as a couple. If an aspect of the relationship stops working, don't simply ignore it but address it with your partner. Things change, so respond to them together as they do.

KNOW WHEN THEY ARE LYING.....FIND OUT ON OUR NEXT POST...

MAKING UP AFTER A FIGHT

Getting back together after a fight or break up is always a wonderful feeling. 

The two of you apologized to each other, you kiss, and you hug and continue having a romantic relationship. When you do make up, it is important to remember some things:

Acknowledge the reasons for Making up: It is important not to just get caught up in the breath-taking make up session, but to remember why you had to make up in the first place -from a break up! Remember your reasons for fighting or and/or breaking up and talk to your lover about ways you can avoid the same conflict in the future.

Stick to Agreements: Once you and your partner made agreements of what changes will be made and how you will improve your relationship, stick to them! Many couples make agreements when they first make up but end up forgetting to continue with them and go back to the old pattern. If you do not respect and follow the new agreements, you will find yourselves arguing about the same issues all over again.

Don't use Sex as a Make Up Tool: Though it may feel fantastic to make up with sex, it should not become a habit. If you make love to smooth things out every time after a fight and breakup, you will find yourselves no longer being able to get turned on without having a conflict first, which is hazardous for the relationship.

Keep the Romance Hot. Make sure your romance stays exciting and hot throughout the relationship, not just when you kiss and makeup. If you continuously show your romantic interest in your partner and vice versa, the two of you will focus on the things you love about each other instead of the things you may dislike.

Stay Made Up. Stay made up by preventing a future break up. The best way to do this is to never stop communicating. If you talk about what you are feeling and ask your partner how she or he feels about certain things, then your relationship will remain open to new ways to improve it and keep it healthy.

EXPECT UPS AND DOWNS.......FIND OUT ON OUR NEXT POST..

ADDICTED TO BAD RELATIONSHIP

Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? 

Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? 

Does there always seem to be something missing?

 If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship.

Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners' need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy.

The constant stress will produce chemical changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more eligible for physical illnesses. Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. 

They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.

So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. 

Making excuses for your partner's disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic. 

If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. 

Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.
MAKING UP AFTER A FIGHT.....FIND OUT ON OUR NEXT POST...