When it
comes to commitment, men can be a mystery.
Perhaps you have heard the words
"I am just not ready". Men are human just like women. They do want a
special woman they can spend their time with and its not that they don't want
to commit. Often its just they have not found that special woman to commit to.
The woman that makes him feel alive. The woman that can awaken the hunter
instinct and challenge him.The woman that gets him.
Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. Now I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be a great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing.
Many women try hard to please a man. Perhaps you offer to help him out. Maybe you cook for him, buy him gifts, do his laundry, try to make his life easier. Maybe the more you do, the less he may seem to appreciate it. The bottom line here is if he wanted a cook and a maid, don't you think he should just go home to his mother? When he thinks of you, do you really want him envisioning you cooking, cleaning and being domesticated? No way! You want him to think of the exiting and sometimes unpredictable woman that you are. He is not going to commit to a woman who acts like his mother, face it. The domesticated activities should come long after you already have the commitment and not a day before.
The number one thing that will stop a man dead in his tracts on his road to commitment is if you attempt to convince him that you are the one for him. Often times a great relationship is extinguished far before it should be by a woman opening her mouth and voicing her feelings on the subject. This is not to say that you should not speak your feelings because you do have to be true to yourself. Its just that men don't want to hear how they should make a commitment. They want to reach this conclusion on their own and in their time. If you are talking about your future and your plans together he is going to run for the hills. Speak less about this issue with a man and you will get you more.
There are things you can do to change his thinking. Its not that you have to change the way you feel, you just have to change the way you react to him and alter your patterns a bit. Don't be so available every time he calls. If he usually calls at a certain time, say 7 or so be doing something. I have often answered the phone with "Hey, can I call you back later? I am at happy hour with the girls". A overnight trip with your girlfriends will do wonders. If he sends you a text I know you are dying to reply, but wait, try to make it an hour. He will spend that hour wondering what you are doing if you usually hit him back immediately. These are small things you can do that can make a big difference.
Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. Now I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be a great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing.
Many women try hard to please a man. Perhaps you offer to help him out. Maybe you cook for him, buy him gifts, do his laundry, try to make his life easier. Maybe the more you do, the less he may seem to appreciate it. The bottom line here is if he wanted a cook and a maid, don't you think he should just go home to his mother? When he thinks of you, do you really want him envisioning you cooking, cleaning and being domesticated? No way! You want him to think of the exiting and sometimes unpredictable woman that you are. He is not going to commit to a woman who acts like his mother, face it. The domesticated activities should come long after you already have the commitment and not a day before.
The number one thing that will stop a man dead in his tracts on his road to commitment is if you attempt to convince him that you are the one for him. Often times a great relationship is extinguished far before it should be by a woman opening her mouth and voicing her feelings on the subject. This is not to say that you should not speak your feelings because you do have to be true to yourself. Its just that men don't want to hear how they should make a commitment. They want to reach this conclusion on their own and in their time. If you are talking about your future and your plans together he is going to run for the hills. Speak less about this issue with a man and you will get you more.
There are things you can do to change his thinking. Its not that you have to change the way you feel, you just have to change the way you react to him and alter your patterns a bit. Don't be so available every time he calls. If he usually calls at a certain time, say 7 or so be doing something. I have often answered the phone with "Hey, can I call you back later? I am at happy hour with the girls". A overnight trip with your girlfriends will do wonders. If he sends you a text I know you are dying to reply, but wait, try to make it an hour. He will spend that hour wondering what you are doing if you usually hit him back immediately. These are small things you can do that can make a big difference.
DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHO WON OR LOST IN LOVE? FIND OUT IN OUR NEXT POST.....
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